maddison firth

Maddie was born approximately November 5, 2013 & she adopted me via a rescue organization on October 13, 2014. She passed very suddenly & without any sign of distress or illness on March 10, 2022. I spent the first hours after finding her holding her wrapped in her favourite blanket, massaging her heart, giving her mouth to mouth & walking through our home in total disbelief. I looked everywhere for some...any signs of what could have possibly happened, but found nothing. No blood, signs of a fall, vomit, body fluids of any kind, choking...nothing. It made no sense to me that I was playing with a perfect, healthy, happy cat not 10 minutes ago. How was it possible? In the last 2 days, I have cried a flood of tears, gone off the edge a bit, screamed at everything, felt sick to my stomach...grieved, or at least tried to in my somewhat angry, confused state. She has been wrapped in her blanket & put in her soft bed with her favourite toy. She now lays in the sunroom where it is cool enough to keep her from "damage." I will need to sort out what I can do for her for her final resting place, but I find it difficult to do so. I need to get passed the denial state first. I say good morning & good night to her though I know she can't hear me & I stroke her cheek each time. I have had to say goodbye to my other creatures & it tore at me each time. But this time, the lack of explanation has frozen me to make "the decision."